Saturday, July 31, 2010

Yesterday

Yesterday was... interesting. It was a day full of emotion. LOTS of emotion.

I woke up and started singing "This is the day, this is the day. That the Lord has made, That the Lord has made..." You know the rest. I'm not sure how that song just popped into my head, but I'm glad it did. It's a song from kids choir that came from the scripture, "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24. I will just say that it wasn't easy to rejoice. It wasn't easy to be glad about yesterday. Not at all.

Paris moved. People say... At least it's just 8 hours, right? Yes. Eight hours. But 8 hours is a lot different from 15 minutes.

I woke up, got ready, helped her finish packing, and then said goodbye. It was the weirdest feeling. All day I just kept thinking that she was just going on vacation. But then it would hit me. She's not on vacation. She isn't coming back in two weeks. She's really gone. And no, it isn't like she fell off the face of the Earth. We have facebook, texting, e-mail, Skype. And thank the Lord for those things. But it just isn't the same as sitting across the table or being in the car together. Just not the same.

When the time came for me to leave (about an hour before she left), I just broke down. We hugged and cried. And then cried some more.

This sounds so dramatic, but it was. Yesterday was the day that we have been dreading for two years. Two whole years! The past two years have been the best, and the worst. We have had "good friendship days" and "really awful friendship days". I am so thankful that My Love didn't let her leave on one of those bad days. It's good that we worked those problems out while she was still here so that once she was gone we would still be best friends. And both of those are true: She's gone, and we are still best friends.

It was hard waking up this morning and realizing that she isn't just across town. More like across two other states. Blugh.

I don't think that I have ever been this sad in my life. I know that a lot of people say things like that, but I say it with complete honesty. I really haven't had any other time in my life to be this sad. And I know those days are coming. Maybe this is the Lord's way of preparing me for harder days to come. Oh man... Harder than this?

I've just come to the conclusion that any plans I make will most likely not happen. I planned for us to have our entire high school years together. To plan for college. (Another plan that probably won't happen the way I think it will...) To go to proms and on mission trips. But that all isn't happening now. But I know that this is God's plan, and even as hard as it may be, I'm going to trust that He has other times for us to be together. Maybe later in life, but not now.

And I guess that is OK with me. I hope it can eventually be OK with me. It just might take some time getting there.

That's all for now. Talk to you soon.


Thursday, July 22, 2010

LIVE

Ok. So life has been quite eventful lately. And it seems that the events have only begun. School starts in just a short 3 weeks, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew (and their dog) are moving in with us in the first week of August, and Paris is leaving next week. Next. Week. So there you go. While not all of these things are bad, all three together just create a lot of craziness.

***This is a CRAZY excited Auntie, though!!! :)***

Anyways, to say that all of these things are kind-of hard on me is quite an understatement. Throughout my entire relationship with Christ, I have really never dealt with asking God questions like, "Why me? Why now?". God has blessed me with a wonderful family, loving friends, a great church and school, and so many other things that I always take for granted. Honestly, I haven't had a reason to ask God those questions. But let me tell you, this whole situation with Paris moving is really taking a toll on me. Most people would assume that we have been best friends since kindergarten, but that isn't the case. God has given us an incredible friendship that I am so thankful for. I love Paris SO much. We all do. And I'm not quite sure what we will do without her.

All that to say... Last night at Overdrive, our student pastor spoke on the word live. It is such a simple word that relates to many complex things. Yesterday afternoon, honestly, I didn't really want to go to Overdrive. But I am so glad I did. This message gave me so much encouragement. He had 6 main points on how we are supposed to live... Here they are.

  1. We are to live through Christ.
  2. We are to live with Christ.
  3. We are to live for Christ.
  4. We are to live for the Lord.
  5. We are to live forever.
  6. We are to live by faith.

Then, at the end of his sermon, he asked us all a question. "What is the one way I need to live this week?" I thought. And thought. He said, "Maybe you don't need to write it in your notes, but at least write it on your heart. That's more important anyways." So... I started to think about which of the 6 points I needed to focus on this week. And then it hit me. Number 4. I am to live for the Lord. Lord=Boss. Keith said something like, "As Christians, God is our Lord and Savior. And that means that God is our boss. You always do what the boss says. No matter what." And Keith talked about what having a boss meant. When you have a boss, you do what the boss says. So, if God is my Lord, then He is my boss, and I do what He says. Concerning the whole "Paris Moving Thing", God told me to give Him control. To trust Him. And that's what I plan on doing. It my might not be easy. But I'm going to do it. He's my Lord. He's my Boss. He's my One True Love. And I owe it to Him to give Him my trust. He will do a better job at dealing with these issues anyways. :)

That's All.


Psalm 16:8... I have set the Lord always before
me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Halfway Over

Hey!

So, I am definitely that ''blogger'' who waits almost two full weeks to blog again. It's not like I try to wait that long, my life is just SO busy right now. I envy all these Moms who can blog everyday or sometimes even twice a day! Crazy.

I hope that you had an amazing Fourth of July weekend because I know we did! Church was amazing Sunday morning with honoring our Armed Forces, and then we ended the night with a huge fireworks show at the church! It was so awesome, and we all had an amazing time hanging out together. Paris, Scout, Jenny, Abby, and I (plus a lot more who don't have code names) were all there, and it was tons of fun. I love the Fourth of July and I am so blessed to live in the good 'ole U.S.A.! :)

Well, hence the name of this post's title, summer is already halfway over... :( Our fall classes start on August the 13th so we have about 5 1/2 weeks left of Summer. I can't believe it! Time flies when you're having fun! Although, because Summer is coming to a close, that means that Paris will be moving in about 3 weeks. We are all pretty bummed. Most of the time, if someone talks about it, we all kind of go into denial and say, "I don't wanna talk about it!" But even though this is a hard time for all of us, we know that God is in control.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12, "God has given them a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what He is doing. So I realize that the best thing for them is to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live."

My sister is halfway done with her Summer adventure, also. She is having an awesome time in Africa, and I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up over there again. :) Here is her blog address if you want to follow her journey... www.alyssainmalawi.blogspot.com.

My Summer has been filled to the brim with babysitting! I love it SO much, and love these kiddos, too! I can't even imagine what God will do with these awesome kids. He has an incredible plan for their life, and I can't wait to see what it is... Being around all these kids has made me realize something. Whatever it is that God has planned for me, I know that in some way He will put me around children. I'm not sure what that means yet, whether it be just being a Momma, or a teacher, I have no clue. But I do know that God gives people desires and gifts, and since those gifts and desires are God-given, why wouldn't He want them used for His glory? Just something to think about... I can't wait to experience what My One True Love has for me. :)

Well, I would imagine that the "sleeping-peacefully-baby" will wake up soon, and be a "give-me-my-bottle-NOW-baby," so I guess I will head out. :) Talk to you soon!

Happy Summer-ing!!!


P.S. HAPPY 17th BIRHTDAY DEAR JOHN!!! :)