Yesterday was... interesting. It was a day full of emotion. LOTS of emotion.
I woke up and started singing "This is the day, this is the day. That the Lord has made, That the Lord has made..." You know the rest. I'm not sure how that song just popped into my head, but I'm glad it did. It's a song from kids choir that came from the scripture, "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24. I will just say that it wasn't easy to rejoice. It wasn't easy to be glad about yesterday. Not at all.
Paris moved. People say... At least it's just 8 hours, right? Yes. Eight hours. But 8 hours is a lot different from 15 minutes.
I woke up, got ready, helped her finish packing, and then said goodbye. It was the weirdest feeling. All day I just kept thinking that she was just going on vacation. But then it would hit me. She's not on vacation. She isn't coming back in two weeks. She's really gone. And no, it isn't like she fell off the face of the Earth. We have facebook, texting, e-mail, Skype. And thank the Lord for those things. But it just isn't the same as sitting across the table or being in the car together. Just not the same.
When the time came for me to leave (about an hour before she left), I just broke down. We hugged and cried. And then cried some more.
This sounds so dramatic, but it was. Yesterday was the day that we have been dreading for two years. Two whole years! The past two years have been the best, and the worst. We have had "good friendship days" and "really awful friendship days". I am so thankful that My Love didn't let her leave on one of those bad days. It's good that we worked those problems out while she was still here so that once she was gone we would still be best friends. And both of those are true: She's gone, and we are still best friends.
It was hard waking up this morning and realizing that she isn't just across town. More like across two other states. Blugh.
I don't think that I have ever been this sad in my life. I know that a lot of people say things like that, but I say it with complete honesty. I really haven't had any other time in my life to be this sad. And I know those days are coming. Maybe this is the Lord's way of preparing me for harder days to come. Oh man... Harder than this?
I've just come to the conclusion that any plans I make will most likely not happen. I planned for us to have our entire high school years together. To plan for college. (Another plan that probably won't happen the way I think it will...) To go to proms and on mission trips. But that all isn't happening now. But I know that this is God's plan, and even as hard as it may be, I'm going to trust that He has other times for us to be together. Maybe later in life, but not now.
And I guess that is OK with me. I hope it can eventually be OK with me. It just might take some time getting there.
That's all for now. Talk to you soon.
O sweet girl that brings tears to my eyes. I know you two love each other so much and that is awesome! My best friend, who has been my best friend since 8th grade is still my best friend. She lives in Bolivar, MO. We grew up in the same town in OK. Went to college in different states, then I got my master's in MO the town she lives in. So we got to live in the same town again for 5 years (I also met Jonathan at that time) She was in my wedding and I was in hers, Last year we got to pregnant at the same time and have babies a month apart (we have already decided they will get married) :) So I say all of that to let you know that today is very difficult but there are many good times to be had and your friendship will stay strong and continue until you are old like me living 12 hours away from your BF and still praying that maybe God would let you live closer once more. I love you girl! Jennifer Russell
ReplyDeleteGreat...you just made me cry yet again. Thanks. haha. I love you kit kat! What Jennifer said is right. We will ALWAYS be best friends. ALWAYS! Promise.
ReplyDeleteCross my heart <3.
~Jellie Ellie (a.k.a. Paris)